Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Horay for my left ovary!

Today is CD 12. I am five days behind my very best friend, Calee, as we document together. What is amazing to me is the timing of it all: everything has been so nearly exact that it is frightening. Everything from purchasing our homes and vehicles to the discovery of our male factor infertility. It's quite scary. I really shouldn't tell her she's flicted. It just reflects poorly on me.

Though we doubt a lot, Calee and I never doubt why we became so close when we did, and not a minute sooner. Neither of us would have been ready (or even needed) a friendship on this level. And right now, I am realizing that for both of us (all four of us!) this cycle holds more hope than any before it. As Calee puts it, "all the factors are in place." Nothing is missing. Actually, I think she said "all the ingredients are here." And though we took slightly different paths on our fertility journey, the possibility is there that our due dates could be six days apart. INSANE.

I'm still not at a point where I can ask God for exactly what I want. So right now, I still pray for the strength for what He does bring my way. But you know what I can pray for and not feel a bit selfish?? I can pray for Calee & Ryan's success, because I know that no matter what happens, I could not be jealous. It's impossible to know what they have been through, to have been through what they have been through and begrudge them of it. But I can be thankful of today's news.....

I have six follicles! My left ovary loves Clomid. I have one 1.7cm, three 1.3cm, and one 1.0 cm on my left ovary; one 1.0 cm on my right ovary. The three medium size ones might or might not catch up with the larger follicle, but it's apparently not something I need to stress about. If I get a positive OPK, I give the trigger shot that night. If not, I give it Friday night, with or without a damn smilie face. And that makes me smile. :)

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